Friday, November 6, 2009

Unbreak My Heart


I have no words to express how I feel today. So I will just post this and you will understand why I need a better diet program.


mantis95@aol.com to me

I am skeptical that it was me you saw and I am not going to send you a pic, so i wish you well. Hope you find what you are looking for.


I'm off to take a spin class, a personal trainer appt, a 10 mile run and possible some kind of karate class (Take my anger out on the bag!!)

Leave me some comments, yall. I need your love. I need someone's love.

Monday, November 2, 2009

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE <3<3<3<3<3<3

Bonjour Leslieophiles,

I've decided to take a big risk, like eating raw cookie dough (Salmonella- yucky! :-P) and just email my man Mantis. After all he is the handsomest man I have ever seen, the future father of my children and I don't want to get to far ahead of myself here, the only man I will ever love in my entire life.


Leslie knows what she wants when she wants it and her eyes are set on Mantis. My mom told me that its not moving too fast if you are honest with the man about your intentions. But my mom was a hermaphrodite drunk bitch who also said that I would always be fat. LOOK AT ME MOM! IM IN LOVE!!! She would be so jealous of Mantis. Too bad she is dead.

Here's what i wrote that anime hunk:

Hello My Man Mantis!

I am not on facebook, it's too evasive! Yuck! Do you want to see a picture of me? Well, so sorry pal, I am going to have to see you first!!!

OMG sorry I havent had lunch yet. Only breakfast, after-breakfast snack, and my pre-lunch sandwich. ME HUNGRY! ha ha!


Confession Time! I love my cats. I hope you're not allergic other wise this totally wont work. My cats are my life, my love, and my reason for being alive (other than milano cookies of course!!) In fact, I hope this doesn't creep you out, but I have had all of my pets taxidermied since I was 12. AFTER they go to heaven, of course..well...most of the time.

I sleep with Fluffs, she went to heaven a couple years ago but is still super soft. If you hate cats, alive and not alive, totes cool I can just hid them in my attic. You would not believe what can fit in my attic, it's so big!!! A human body could easily be hidden there for years with no one the wiser. Many people DONT even KNOW i have an attic!!!!

So send me another picture, silly billy! Then I will send you a picture!!!


my undying love,
Leslie


So now I just need to wait for Mantis to write me back. I've been hitting refresh on my mailbox every thirty seconds for the past 15 hours. I haven't heard anything yet, but i'm sure he's busy. I mean a man like mantis probably has all sorts of hobbies and activities right? It's definately not another woman.... maybe I should email him again.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Decisions... Decisions...

What is a girl to do? Both of my sugar frosted dream flakes have written back, and I am just at a loss. I'd go with my heart, but it's telling me to eat a whole Sarah Lee pound cake... maybe you can help me decide?

My Macho Mantis wrote:
I don't know, seems too good to be true, how can you be so sure it was me. Are you on facebook?




Mantis is right, it DOES seem too good to be true, but aren't all the best things in life too good to be tue? Like newborn babies. and weddings and undying love that lasts forever .And fat free brownies? That's the kind of love mantis98 and i share! We are so alike in the way we think. We have both had our hearts broken, and are careful, but deep down we still believe that there could be a delicous fat free brownie.

ryan the hottie wrote:
wow ur definitely on a roll..u do standup?


OMG Ryan can see right through me to my apple core!!!! He knows I like to joke around when I am nervous. Just wait till he sees me in bed, it's like one knock knock joke after another until he sticks it in my mouth!! HAHAH THERE I GO AGAIN! Im glad Ry can see my funny side, but maybe it's time to show him my serious and sexy side?