LOVE IS DEAD

That is All.

Leslie

THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!

OK OK OK I KNOW I SAID I WAS DONE BUT...you guys have to hear this....

FIRST: the guy at the quick mart said my eyes were pretty! WTF!!!! ALL I was doing was buying those creepy truck driver speed because I heard it makes you not hungry and truck drivers aren't ever in love so I thought it would be PERFECT!!!

SECOND: There I am coming out of the gym and I TRIP AND FALL, OMG TRES EMBARRASSING. Then here comes Mr. Perfect to pick me up. He works at the falafel stand and his name is, well, I DONT KNOW, BUT WHO CARES!!!

I guess i've done enough work on me, becuase love literally fell right in my lap. well technically i fell into six pigeons fighting over a peice of schwarma, but still I'm In LOOOVE! and It Feels so good!!!

SO LOVE CAN HAPPEN TO YOU TOO!

FOR REAL!

THAT IS ALL,

LESLIE

Goal Acheived. True Love Denied

Well, Interdweeebs. I know it's been awhile, but it's time for your faithful mistress of the dark chocolate eclair to leave you all. Yes yes, I kno, but hold back those tears mon amies. This Is a good thing, you see after the depression from my spikey haired anime love child dumping me i locked myself in a closet for three weeks with nothing to eat. and I HAVE NEVER LOOKED BETTER!

I have learning a whole bunch of lessons on my love quest. Like eating only ice chips will land you in hosiptal. Craigslist's missed connections should sometimes stay missed! Eating only cabbage for 7 days will eventually make you shit and throw up at the same time. Love can't be forced. And I have to love myself before I love someone else. And no one will truely love you until you under 98 pounds.

Which is why I bid you all a fond adieu, adeiu adeiu adeiu to you and you and you. But before I leave I've heard about this new diet where they insert a carniverous ring worm directly into your rectum. Do y'all think i should try it? I need to look smoking hot for when I do meet Mr Right (not Mr. Right Now In The Alley!!! LOL!). Or even Mr RightNow really, or possibly that cute guy who greets people at wal-mart. Do you think he's single?

You see how much I think about love?! FRUSTRATING! I am never going to find love if I dont stop thinking about it. I am thinking of new hobbies like dancing in a dance marathon or running more than twice a day or seeing if I can do 1000 sit ups during an episode of Everyone Loves Raymond.

So from this point on I am not thinking about love, or blogging, or anything else other than me- good ol' single leslie.

Leslie OUT!

ps. If anyone knows of any available men, email me at wildthinglover@gmail.com. I mean, afer i've learned to love myself, of course.